Grumble, Grumbles, More Grumbles!

What a day... Jap mass media was terrible... I was totally crapping all the way... Din really made use of what I studied, but what did I really study anyway? ARG...

Weiting n Qiuping went KTV marathon today....... without me!!!!! They must be singing all the songs that I wanted to sing! Can't believe they having such great time and I am stuck with my notes.... AARRGG......

For those of you who haven know, the $3150 was won!! Can't believe the very last song is actually one of my all time favourite and its one song that we thought could not possibly be!!! But it turns out-- Thats THE SONG! The prospect of slacking during this hols and yet make it for my Taiwan trip is GONE.... AAARRRGGG.........

Tmr will be my FINAL paper! But before tmr arrives, I need to settle with what to study.. or rather, what is there to study!!!????

Enough of the not-so-happy stuff.

Moving on: I finally got my contact lens!! Don't have to go around 4-eyed! tats great! I am collecting my new specs tmr as well hee!

PS: My Dad's coming back tmr... haven seen him for almost 2 mths. As much as I do somehow miss him, I am going to miss the car for a week... *sob*

ATTENTION:

1) Pls do my quiz when you have the time yah? Just click on the link above the tagboard.

2) Pls help me sign this petition (even if you dunno what is it abt) Please............................................
http://www.petitiononline.com/FNHSG/petition.html

To all my Gal friends: Dun worry! I am Straight!

Hmm... Din study much today again..... HAI~~~ really have to depend totally on GOD tmr for my theatre studies le... Just hope that I will not hand in a blank booklet tmr...

Went with my mum to Jack's Place today! It had been a long time since we went out together le.. She feign sick today loh... Go and get MC just because she got ULCER in her mouth!!!

Just before I start writing blog entry, got a praying mantis/grasshopper alike thingy flew into the room!! I was SO traumatised!!! Screamed and run in and out the room 3X...

Oh got one more thing I forgotten to say yesterday! When I went to the optical shop yesterday, I saw a VERY VERY VERY PRETTY LADY!!!!!!!! She is an optician there! she is REALLY REALLY very pretty! Eyes big big, oval-shaped face. Good figure as well! hmm let me see.. I think she beat Zhang Zi Yi handsdown!!! You can imagine how pretty she is... I totally can't take my eyes off her loh... ok.. shall stop here.. sound abit bian tai if i continue any further...

A Sad Day

Hmm... back to a normal blog entry ba... Had my Jap Lang paper today at 5 pm! SUCKS!! I totally cannot catch the listening compre!!! (yup! have listening compre, comprehension, letter writing! Just like primary school) .

Den I decided to go make a new pair of specs and contact lens... My old contact lens totally die le... too dirty to be worn... Total cost = $450!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why so ex? Let me explain...
My specs cost $160 (initially was 170) ok.. its quite reasonable lah..
My contact lens -- I decided to switch to monthly disposable for hygiene purpose. So since its toric lens, its very ex... $290 for 13 pairs....
Die le ah... really very sad.... after calculation, I realised I made a big step backward, away from my aim to Taiwan in Dec... HOW??? Den up till now, I haven't even found a job!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody got lobang where I can get a well-paid job??? :'(

天下真的没有不散之宴席吗?

For the past few days, I saw some blog entries talking about how very possible is it that They will soon retire... I really hope it will not... Much ado that I want Them to regain the freedom they lost 6 yrs ago, but... I really cannot bear... I dunno what will happen to me when They really decided to retire now... probably sudden lost of direction n aim ba...

But of course! I must thank Them for the wonderful group of friends. Thru Them, I got to know a group of friends with a common interest. Some say that this is what They had gave us other than music. But again.... will these friendship really continue to hold on together when They are gone? Afterall it is Them that gave them Probably it will after some years, when these group of friends really found things other than Them that can gel them together...

Anyway... I just hope its not now... probably a few yrs later? when I get older?? PLS......

天下真的没有不散之宴席吗? 应该吧。。。 但能不能给我一些奇迹呢?

What a Day

Hmm.. Quite effective today! Went ghim moh mac for 10 hrs to study with weiting, qiuping and zhiting... Though we talked ALOT of rubbish! And listening to CDs, 933 on n off just to catch their new song.. (in the end we heard twice!)I think overall still not bad. Managed to finish my Jap Lang revision! YEAH!

Everything was fine until I made a phone call to my Dad in China. He called to speak to me abt that brother of mine. Telling me i should change my attitude all those stuff... Guess I stunned my friends.. haha.. So sorry about it... Very affected by it, whole mood became so so so down... So I decided not to go church... because I will get worse if I was to go and be very affected during this examination period. I pray that GOD will forgive me for not having the courage to face with my problems. Perhaps I am really escaping. But I promise! It will just be temporary. I will settle it once and for all when my exams are over.

I doubt I will recover so fast if my friends were not there with me at that point of time... Thanks pals!! Continue to crapped and snacking... den~~ Got quite bored so I decided to listen to 933 again. Then heard that some people will be there to play and sing songs that we listeners want to hear live! So..... I msg in and ask for their songs! But before they sing, I decided to call in! hahaha... Got thru rather easily... Tok abt some plans after my exams and den dedicate songs to my friends there as well as the folks of mdmd forum! (they even thanked me in the forum! SHUANG! hahaha...)
The DJ saw my msg and haha.. they sang tian tian xiang ni! haha...

After that we went eat dinner! Very nice beef "mui fan". After that go home le...

PS: Weiting called into 933 yesterday night for the 933 challenge thingy!! hahaha... so high!! We are only 1 song away! We had some clues what the last song is already... Hope we are able to call in on MON!! hahaha.. JIAYOU JIAYOU!!

當風雨 都過去 迎著風 看天空 不放棄 才能夠 有感動

WOOHOO!!! yeah!! this is lyrics from their latest song "Flower"!!! Can't wait for their concert cd/vcd... Bought Ayumi's Countdown live 2005 this just now! So excited!! Though this is like the Nth VCD I bought.. but still so excited! Her live singing is SUPERB!!! Up till now, I really can't think of anybody in the Pop industry that can sing live better than her! Not in Japan, not in Taiwan, not in Hong kong and of course not in Singapore.

Got my official paper today... hmm.. I really absolute no idea how i fair. I just dump everything I know in. Dun even know if it is relevant! But I am sosososo glad that it is over!!! YEAH!! 4 more to go! yeah!! I thank GOD that I had not been nervous for my exams at all.. hee... hope this will continue to be the way!

Oh~~ N regarding my 933 challenge rite, me and weiting (aka cryolite) decided to combine force!! Hope we can win the money (currently stands at $2300) for our Taiwan trip in December!

Hai~~ n today got a stunning news regarding that truly hopeless brother of mine... But of course I wun be very much affected lah~~ Cos kind of used to it le.. and for those who dunno, I long taken it as I never had this brother... So nx time when ppl ask me how many siblings I have, I will only reply I have only 1 brother.

An Uneventful day

Hi all... spent the whole day in front of the radio today again, for the 933 challenge thingy.. So excited when i hear their latest single today!! VERY NICE!!! hmm... looking forward to their Concert album...Anybody has any idea where to get a BenQ handphone in Singapore???

Tomorrow is the day!! I pray that everything will just go right! I pray that I will not forget my lines, forget my positions...

Ok that's all to sum up this super boring day.... Exams officially starts in 14 hrs...

ashin 

Ashin is cute! The other 2 is weird~ 

My Passion! 

In the Midst of Time

Yo blog! its been quite a few days... hai~ all because of exams... But actually hadn't been studying much... :p Let me update this with what I did since 14th April!

15th April 2005 : The very much awaited Golden Melody Award nominees are out. Very disappointing... They only nominated for 1 award :'( Really very very sad wor~~
I also happened to hear that the Challenge 9 songs on 933 had accumulated more than $1000 :o !! So I decided to listen to it and try figure out what are the 9 songs (but up till now, I have only got 7 songs...)
That evening, went to my friend's house for my Theatre Studies rehearsal... Had an eventful night, I took abt half an hr to look for the house loh... almost died while I kept circling Tai Hwan Cre, close, rd, groove, pl etc... Had a wonderful time with my fellow actresses, director and designers. :) went eat supper at 2 am, slept at 430am...

16th April 2005: Woke up at 930, continue rehearsal, and did a fair bit of exercise as I run up n down the stairs and scream, to avoid the dogs.
Someone called at 10+!! She say she wants to speak to me in Japanese (its actually a interview for a job i applied) I fumbled abit, screamed into the phone because of the dogs!!! ARG~~ So scared that I wun get the job!!
Went church at 430, den after that went Fullerton for Chocolate buffet!!! The buffet itself was okay only lah... but had a great time with my friends!! Talk about lots of stuff! Was a really good chill-out time!

17th April 2005: Nothing much, just that went tuition in the afternoon, did some revision, then cooked spagetti for dinner. They dropped from 8th to 14th, kind of expected cos my vote was 0 this week, but still abit sad. Was Super HAPPY that the mediac**** art**** did not break the record set on previous week!! haha... Its really time they change for the better!! not the same boring stuff year after year!

18th April 2005: woke up at 730am to try my quest in the $1200. obviously failed. Went to Black box for rehearsal. Had a great time bitching out with my fellow actresses hahaha... tired but fun.

19th April 2005: Did a bit of revision. Still not enough ah!!! Got the call from that person again! Think I got the job le!!! hahaha... though its only 5 days, but I noe I am going to enjoy using my Japanese! YEAH! now, waiting for the cue for the quest of $1550!

What I Don't wanna do!

Just as I was wondering if there is anything for me to write in my blog, I had this:

Its just another boring day at school... its the last day of school for this semester. ( this means exams really coming!) I was kind of anticipating this evening to come. My friend said she is able to recommend me a job for this vacation. But when I reached, I realised I was tricked!!! All I wanted was a simple admin office job. But she is into direct marketing! ( which just simply means SALES!) I had been in there before and I totally DON"T LIKE IT!!!!!! People seems to get close to you, be friendly to you for a purpose! A purpose that is beneficial to themselves... Why did she lie to me?? I was really very angry... so my attitude was really bad! I guess I'd hurt her... but... all these would not happen if she did not lie to me~~ :(

One thing came to my mind as she was trying to persuade me...
She mentioned something about being recognised and letting ppl know your existence... Seriously, issit important? What kind of mindset do these ppl have? There are so many people in the world, can everyone be recognised? We should be contented with whatever life GOD has given to us. Though it will be sad, tired, boring at times, guess its really what kind of approach you want to take in seeing your life.

To me, life is not all about driving expensive cars, living in big houses, (of course with all these will be supplements). Its about how you enjoy it to the FULLEST! Of course, this is not easy! There are lots of obstacles. But I believe by overcoming these obstacles, sadness etc can be enjoyment itself!

The other thing she mention that struck me was, she don't know what to do after graduation, so why not give it a try... But to me, I may not know what I want to do, BUT I know what I don't want to do!!!! What about you? Do you feel lost in life just like many out there? If you really have no idea what kind of future you want, at least, make sure you know what you DON'T WANT!

6 months = 6 years. Time to rest.

Had my Japanese oral test today.. was no good at all... Today in school was just like any other days... I really feel back to normal le..... BUT~~~

When I was driving back, I was determined not to play their CDs... so i sticked to the radio... and I felt sososososo boring!!!! I am really not prepared to let it go....

This feeling got even stronger when I went to check out the blog's of fellow fans in mdmd forum... Some of them really touched me deeply... Though I do not fully understand what they are going through, but i can roughly guess... When I saw the tags on the already closed down website, I almost can't hold my tears. I also want to ask "WHY WHY WHY? WHY INDEFINITELY??" But I could not bare to... I also believe GOD has His reason for everything He does...

Its just like I really wish I never come to like Them, never come to know of the website, never come to know this bunch of fantastic people... At least, I will still be able to led my boring but normal life. I am still able to try focus on the GOD I worship though sometimes I really feel tired. But I know there must be some reasons behind all these... I will continue searching for it.. but perhaps not now...

Everything, almost EVERYTHING in my daily life now, revolves around this passion of mine... My friends who don't really know me address me as "Mayday fan"!! I would have gladly accepted that 5 days ago... but now, I felt uneasy... I hereby declare today will be the last day.... and I mean it... to all my friends in mdmd forum, it had really been a GREAT pleasure knowing you guys! The past 6 mths of my life had been exciting, fun-filled. Though it had only been 6 mths, it was as if it had been 6 years... I guess I will have to herbinate for a while... perhaps will not see me for a while at our "Final Home"... I pray that all of you will be enjoying your life!

PS: You wun get to enjoy that much as you grow older.. believe me!

Back to Reality

After 4 faithful days, everything is finally back to normal... Cried for about 2hrs last night... Cried for another 10min or so this morning when something I speculated came true!! though it wasn't as bad as I thought... Felt that my feet were so heavy as I walked towards my car... Drove to school today, then have this stupid thinking of "what if I had an accident now?" on my way there, thought that I should throw all my Mayday albums into a cupboard, stop posting on mdmd forum, cut off all the Mayday-related stuff from my life....

Went to the 1st tutorial, but did not pay much attention to it... I cannot even smile when the whole class laughed so heartily at some jokes... Din feel like taking the class photo when my classmates proposed, ended up as the photographer...

Things got better when me n Liling went to watch "mu dan ting" (some kind of chinese opera), found some parts quite amusing...

Later went to Chinese tutorial, talked about the "mu dan ting" i just watched. Felt even better when the teacher gave me some praises for my comments :)

As I walked towards the other end of Fass, passed by many people, the whole realisation that I am afterall a student came to me. I don't know what my future responsibilities are, but for One thing i am sure! My responsibility at the current phase of my life is to study, get a degree.

When I arrived for lecture, I managed to crack the usual jokes, made the usual comments, said Hi to everybody in the usual manner.... I realised, I am back to normal!

瘋狂世界

During ktv this afternoon, a song struck me!

我好想好想飛 逃離這個瘋狂世界
那麼多苦 那麼多累 那麼多莫名的淚水
我好想好想飛 逃離這個瘋狂世界
如果是你 發現了我 也別將我挽回

I really felt like running, running, running..... I just wanna get away from school, from work, exams and all the problems....... all i wanted to do was to enjoy myself like on the charity show...
But I know its IMPOSSIBLE.... Perhaps this is the reason why MayDay is my Passion now... songs are really exactly what i feel.... what I wanted to say........

逃走　翻過圍牆　我只能逃走　從教室裡頭

I hope this feeling will not last for too long.....

The irony of the past 4 days of my life....

This is my first entry for this blog... my initial intention was to let this be a chinese blog.. but due to some technical problems, I have to write it in english for the time being. This blog is named my other passion. I wanted this blog to be cheerful, full of joy, laughter... but as the past few days pass by, I realised I need an outlet to let out my frustration. Since I cannot put it on my other blog, I decided to put it here....

8th April 2005 - 11th April 2005 had probably passed the fastest in my 20 yrs of life... Perhaps many will think that its because the past few days had been TOO enjoyable... Maybe it is... but.. these 4 days had probably been the most irresponsible days of my life....

8th April 2005 : I was supposed to be discussing my Theatre Studies practical with my grpmates. But I decided to leave early....for the airport... Instead of telling them the truth, I told them I got to go for my church's G12 conference. (I should be at my G12 conference!! but I made a choice...)

9th April 2005: I was supposed to be at my G12 conference, but decided to give it a miss cos I can't wake up... But instead of telling the truth to my cell leader, I chose a pack of lies...

10th April 2005: I was supposed to be meeting up my grpmates for the practical as well... but I decided not to...

11th April 2005: I was supposed to be at a consultation with my practical instructor together with my practical grpmates, but I totally forgot abt it.....

Yes!! It is true that I had a great time these 4 days. Did the craziest things in my life!! But in retrospect, I had failed terribly in GOD's eyes, I had been not only an unworthy Christian, i had also been an irresponsible student, who doesn't care about work, fellow grpmates...

I guess I have to stop all these... This Passion on mine had occupied more than 50% of my life... not just these 5 guys, but also the many things related to them. The Forum, fellow Fans etc...
I realised that apart from the sense self-contentment, none of it contributes positively to other aspects of my life... Not that I am tired, I am just scared..... I had changed from someone who thinks that "chasing idol" is childish, a person who is serious about GOD, to a person mentioned above. I dare not imagine what I will become if I don't practise restraint NOW!

To all those whom I spent these few days with, you guys are really GREAT! I truly thank you guys for creating such wonderful memories at this point of my life... I definitely look forward to meeting you guys again, looking forward that we unite together again for this common Passion! But in the mean time......